Crabbage Snatch Open - Clabmas Calors 2012

Crabmas Carols from 2012

Bend over, Crotchet 9-Dec-2012

It's carol fuck off merrily. Sing this to Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem

O Little Tourney of Crabbage Snatch
How still I haven't won
Above all other golfing days
You are number one.

The other bastards taunt me
They know not my deep pain
I carry each of my three boys
And every putt I drain

Oh Little Tourney of Crabbage Snatch
You know that I'm the best
Some day I'll be on the trophy
And say, "Fuck all the rest!!!!"


Oh Holy Night needed a reworking.

O Holy Shit! Tamboury's on my team
He hasn't played since he was just a baby
I think that it's time that I start to scream
Cuz my hopes went to zilch from maybe

He, sucked so bad that we were completely screwed
And he thought that he had played just like a stud
But, noooo, he was just shit, he sucked and that was rude
The beers didn't help to ease the pain- nor the bud,
We finished seven oooooooover,

Oh shit, oh holy shit, oh shit of Mike
Oh shit, oh holy shit, oh shit of Mike


Sing this to Mele Kalikimaka. Get leid.

Smelly Sarkisianshit is the thing to see,
In a white Crabbage Snatch toilet bowl
That's his favorite greeting that he sends to you,
When you see that monstrous roll

Soon we start to wonder what's inside his gut
How can such a beast come out from his butt?
Smelly Sarkisianshit is Paul's way
To say that his asshole is now free!


Jingle Bells, Benner smells, damn he smells a lot.
Just one fart can paralyze and kill you on the spot
Jingle Bells, Benner smells, oh he smells real bad
There’s nothing worse, on this Earth, E-Fucking-Gad

Friday chili beans, he just runs amok
Several mugs of beer, we’re all sitting ducks
Gas from Hell results, he laughs and we cry
We best get to some fresh air or we’ll all fucking die

Jingle Bells, Benner smells, Holy Fucking shit.
His trumpeting thighs can blind your eyes, even give you zits
Jingle Bells, Benner smells, the situation’s grave
Fuck Phir, Fuck Phir, Blow me Dave.

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