Crabbage Snatch Open - Clabmas Calors 2004

Crabmas Carols from 2004

Bend over, Crotchet Snatchers,

LET HIM HORK

Oh the ground by the kitchen is frightful, And some puke from above just might fall.
But since he's too far from the bowl,
Let him hork, let him hork, let him hork.

He was playin a game with Bwian,
And that wookie wasn't even twian.
Brandt would lie and say what he'd wish
Cuz he's his bitch, Bwi's a fish, Bwi's a fish.

But some Snatcher had seen enough,
And told Bwian to not stake that stuff.
So he listened to his new pimp Schnack,
And to Brandt he now turned his back.

Oh the ground by the kitchen is frightful, And some puke from above just might fall.
But since he's too far from the bowl,
Let him hork, let him hork, let him hork.



Here's a little ditty called "Fuck All You Liars and Cheaters" sung to White Christmas

I'm dreaming of a Snatch Trophy
Just like the one I'm never on
Cuz the boys play shitty
When they're with me
And always screw me out of my rightful due

I'm dreaming of a Snatch Trophy
Just like the one that I deserve
So fuck my foursome
They're all just whorecum
And may all my wet dreams be in their mouths.



Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells:

Love Monkey, Love Monkey,
Jungle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to have
A rookie in the hay, HEY!

Dashing through the Snatch
With a fresh and brand new batch
O'er and under we go,
Spreading oyster snow.

Balls on Bobby's tail ring
Making stirrups tight
Dropping stereos sting,
As "De Plane" Tatu' sings.

Rob McKay,
Greg Sibley,
Marshmallows on their tongues.
If they couldn't say Chubby Bunny
then Bambi'd be in their bungs.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
Love Monkey, Love Monkey,
oh, Love Monkey, Love Monkey,
oh, Love Monkey, Love Monkey,
[there must be skip in the record here] . . .
Hey Alvin, where's Brother Galen?

-- David wrote:
Here's a little ditty called "Fuck All You Liars and Cheaters" sung to White Christmas

I'm dreaming of a Snatch Trophy
Just like the one I'm never on
Cuz the boys play shitty
When they're with me
And always screw me out of my rightful due

I'm dreaming of a Snatch Trophy
Just like the one that I deserve
So fuck my foursome
They're all just whorecum
And may all my wet dreams be in their mouths.



Try this (sung to Angels We Have Heard on High)

Anus we have smelled on high
Spewing logs between the thigh
And the mountain starts to reek
Don't you want to take a peek?
Go-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-olly, Sark!
An ex-cell-ent doo-doo
Go-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-olly, Sark!
An ex-cell-ent doo-doo

Come in here and won't you see
It who's girth sure frightens me
Cum and corn adorn the sight
Now you know what he did last night
Go-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-olly, Sark!
An ex-cell-ent doo-doo
Go-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-olly, Sark!
An ex-cell-ent doo-doo



(sung to Bunghole Swells)

Watch him swing, duck your head, God he really sucks
If you end up in his foursome, man you're really fuck-uked

When he takes a swing, birds fly from the trees, people living on the course say "Get me a realtor please"
He'll hit every house, leave divots everywhere, be careful when you putt, he'll try to slip it "there-ere"

Watch him swing, duck your head, God he really sucks
If you end up in his foursome, man you're really fuck-uked

When he tees it up, hide behind a tree and pray to God he hits the ball pass the womens tee
which he will rarely will, cause he likes it when, he gets to pull his penis out and put it on someones chin-in

Watch him swing, duck your head, God he really sucks
If you end up in his foursome, man you're really fucked-uked

(please feel free to add more verses)



O come all ye fagful
Gayful and bicumphant
O come ye, o co-ome ye
To Marhall's bung.

Cum and enjoy it
Bore this queen of anus
O cum let Marshall have you
O cum let Marshall have you
O cum let Marshall ha-a-ave youuu
He likes the load!!



Do you Smell What I Smell?

Said the night wind to the Captain Sark,
"Do you smell what I smell? (echo)
Way up in the sky, little cloud,
Do you smell what I smell? (echo)
A reek, a reek, floating in the night
With a stench as big as Bhopal,
With a stench as big as Bhopal."

Said the Captain Sark to the Snatcher boy,
"Do you hear what I hear? (echo)
Plopping in the bowl, Snatcher boy,
Do you hear what I hear? (echo)
A log, a log, bigger than a tree,
With a girth as big as the the sea,
With a girth as big as the the sea."

Said the Snatcher boy to the mighty plumber,
"Do you know what I know? (echo)
In your toilet bowl, mighty turd,
Do you know what I know? (echo)
A sump, a sump shivers with the load
Let us bring it plunger and lye,
Let us bring it plunger and lye."

Said the plumber to the people everywhere,
"Listen to what I say! (echo)
Pray for flow, people, everywhere,
Listen to what I say! (echo)
The turd, the turd is slipping down the drain!!
All is OK 'til the next Snatch,
All is OK 'til the next Snatch."



(sung to an old pirate favorite...no, not Sibley) For it's Yo-Ho, Heave-Ho, a dirty bung-hole for Blundt. He's all alone, upstairs in his room, an' feeling kinda blue. The booze he drank, is makin' im rank, so it's off the plank he goes. Butt, there's a screen in the way, an his heads on fire, so it's 'popin' out thru his head goes. Like an overly loaded, trojan to scotum, he let's go with a 'hork' an a 'blow'.. For it's Yo-Ho, Heave-Ho, a dirty bung-hole for Blundt. Feelin' bit better he feels the displeasure, and smiles a bit from his hork, When from outta the dark, a bitch named Pork, jumps him in the prone.. Now he's givin' a good wail when he blows cause he's gettin his load from the breach. A worthy seamen is he, cause he won't set his sail, as he horks his way thru the night. For it's Yo-Ho, Heave-Ho, a dirty bung-hole for Blundt. In the wee, wee hours, when Blundt's thinkin not straight, he cums down to make his debut, Butt, the flowers he carries, are all kinda stinky, an dripping from his feendish night. So, just remember, at the Christmas table, when you're cuttin' up the pork, someone upstairs, might be pullin' his hairs, and blowin' chum whilst gettin his cum. For it's Yo-Ho, Heave-Ho, a dirty bung-hole for Blundt. (Did anyone actaully replace the screen Dave so masterfully removed with his foreskinhead?) Bamb'd

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