Crabbage Snatch Bantel - Book 3
6-Apr-2002
And then.....
Flinging himself onto the heaving mass, he lay still and silent...Each breath was as his own, butt, he could scarcely
contain his excitement, for he knew the moment of surprise was behind him, as was most most of the crew during this leg of
the journey. Alas, the huge organ began to quiver and shake, uncontrollably so, for the each of the crewmen's apendages
were busy at work; stroking and soothing the emense beasty. Scarcely a man could look it square, knowing that at any
moment, it could eat them whole, with it's scraggly bush top and wide, full, glistening steamy center and swollen muscular
sides; appropriately shaven, of course. They all came to know it well, except Thibley who insisted on bringing up the
rear...
to be continued...
29-Apr-2002
Mr. Dunson: It's awful quiet tonight, Cooky.
Cooky: Yeah, sure 'tis, Mr. Dunson. S'too quiet, I says.
MD: Wall, go on over behind the buckboard yonder, 'n check on some of the men.
Cooky: Holy shits, Dukie, theys here, but theys jez lollin' around all slackmouth. What'd ye do to 'em, boss?
MD: I dunno. Ya'd think these pansies'd never seen the diseased lining of another cowpoke's asshole before!
Cooky: Lemme try reachin around 'n grabbin a coupla their thingys...
slappita..slappita...slappita...slappita....
Nope, they ain'ts respondin', Dukie. Ya mightsta gones too far this time!
MD: Wall, I'm not gonna waste my time moanin' about it, Cooky. Why'dn'tya help me lash up some of their saggin' jowls
with yer kerchief, 'n we cun load 'em up with jizzum before they come to. It'll be jez likes when we cleaned up after
them floods hit Wichita in '89.
Cooky: I'll hold one of they heads here, fer ya. But be gentle on 'em, Dukie, they's catatonic, but theys mights be
lurkin' jez below they's consciousness.
MD: Wall, if they are, then they'll be adreamin' of a cattle drive down the backs of their throats.
Cooky: Yer a cruel man, Dukie, yer a cruel man.
3-May-2002
Guys,
What's the deal? Are the Crabbage Boys just sitting there silently drooling down their shirtfronts, stunned into a
catatonic state?
Did I go too far?
Maybe I should have held back an inch or two. Maybe I needed to sing to you a little. Was it too cut-and-dried?
Geez, Benner brings grainy videos of a gal taking a pig up the ass, and another one putting a lip lock on a Labrador, and
"Oooh, It's important Swedish art!" Sarkisian sends out video downloads from his flexible sigmoidoscopy, and it's
silence.
I couldn't have not sent them, now could I?
Come on. Just try a few keystrokes.
You just have to climb back on the old mule and ride it. Show it who's boss.
Sometimes, you have to play hurt.
That's the spirit!
MS
3-May-2002
OK! OK! Butt if you enlarge the picture in the lower left-hand corner it looks like Evan with his tongue hanging out.
Maybe it`s his way of trying to get Seymour to come to the cabin this year.
GV
4-May-2002
Paul,
Let's face it. You're a rectal god. For some wonderous reason you are able to crap twice your mass. The awe needs no
explanation. In fact to explain it brings your holy colon down to a level of anal banality...to a Snoid's Colon level.
Don't mistake our silence for honor. Please, Paul, we love your colon. Some, such as Benner, love it deeply.
From the bowels of my heart,
Dave
7-May-2002
Dear Snatchers,
I just brewed a batch. Right now it's in the primary fermenter bubbling away. It will be ready for bottling in about a week
and a half. A few weeks after that it'll be ready to drink EVERY FUCKIN' DAY OF SUMMER VACATION. Oh...sorry, I strayed a
bit from this post's purpose. No...now 48 bottles won't last TWO AND A HALF MONTHS!! Sorry again. Now why did I write...oh,
it's Kelig's damned tasty recipe which has been called: Keligbrau, Shit-Face Ale, Sweetfingers Ale, and Flamin' Texan Ale.
Any ideas for the new name? When it's ready, you guys are welcome anytime after 10 am-ONCE I FINALLY GET UP to enjoy it.
Brandt
ps Mayseymoullegulgitateblad'sspoatiearrovelyoulugryfaces
8-May-2002
How does "Hammer-Head Cock-Suckers Ale" strike you?
I thought so....
an the hoe you rode in on, too.
Argghh...
8-May-2002
How 'bout....
Brown Nugget Bitter
or,
Queen's Transom, "Climb aboard"
or,
Pyle's Pilsner "Crack one open"
I don't know. I don't drink a lot of beer. It makes me nervous to be around you guys with froth on my upper lip. I don't
know how Dave does it....
MS
9-May-2002
Dave - Did you ever see the "Rat Race"?
I suggest you call the latest batch "Prairie Dog Ale".
T.G.
9-May-2002
Now,,, let me get this right....
Dave is brewing a batch from the ancient BrewMaster's tabloid, a.k.a. Kelig's Bitchin' Blast...and you're nervous to be
around the froth-lipped clan?
I am not touching this crap,,, literally. I remember Kelig's first experiments with a bottle at Cal,,,someone named
Snoid put the 'shot heard round the world' of a fart into that bottle. Then Kelig pawned it off as home brewed gas for an
'A+' in chemistry class. Sound familiar??
Dave, you gotta check your sources better...and check those bottles for residue. Remember, Blundt Brew is like a box of
chocolates, you never know what you're gonna git.
PS - I may have contributed to that bottle, can't recall fully, but I swear someone using dark lipstick got there first.
Snoid?
10-May-2002
Hey, how about "Headless Brown Stout"? Or whatever else might be overflowing into the Napa River at flood stage? Or
perhaps "Snoid's Famous Streak" (along with all of the other fourth floor Putnam studs)?
Seventh floor wienies need not apply...
The Snoidster
10-May-2002
My vanity forces me to remember a certain very ripe banana, soaked in Yucca Dew shampoo, dexteriously swung through a third
floor dorm window from the fourth floor above...
But let me think. As I recall, it was a Heineken bottle. The lip of which was well worn, er, I mean used, er, I mean
abused, er, I mean, I can't really recall the situation at all. I do vaguely remember Mr. Kelig requesting a gas
spectrometer test that came out blank because SOMEONE had allowed all the pent up gases to escape. Or else SOMEONE sucked
out those noxious methane based fumes. But seriously, other than that, I can't recall a thing about the incident. Matter
of fact, I don't even think it ever happened. After all, sometimes my kids read this stuff so I have to hide the
incriminating evidence. The boss already knows I'm ruined, which is why the hefty life insurance policy.
You just never know..... Maybe that's why she keeps sending me up to the Crabbage Open year after year with Rich and Paul
driving! Oh mannnnnn, I think I just figured it out! I better get out of here.
Snoid has left the building (by the back door of course)
10-May-2002
Girls,
It's not too late to enter the "Name Kelig's Beer" contest.
Here are a few entries: Prairie Dog Ale (Gardiser), Hammer-Head Cock-Suckers Ale(Bambi), God bless you(Cabin Boy), Brown
Nugget Bitter, Queen's Transom"Climb aboard", Pyle's Pilsner "Crack one open"(Cap'n Mud), Totar Beer-do(fierd)
I was thinking about "Asswipe that works for some fuckin energy company that raped California's budget surplus thereby
taking my API bonus money, which would've been huge because our school kicked ass on the standardized tests last year, to
pay for some goddamn energy suit's villa in Aruba-oh and, by the way, he's a totar dodir Ale"
Blandt
10-May-2002
...Hilts? Ya mean up under yur kilts, ya flamin' Scottsman. Aye,,we've not heard such a flap o'er a stank, foul smellin'
piece 'o air since Rhag let loose on that salted pork under midships. An jest ta set the record straight, Snoid was
cleanly shaven fur the event.
Aye...
10-May-2002
add this slogan: "Release yourself from the frustrations of your day"
Filst attempt to palticipate in bantel: M & E Field of Dreams, Night Cream Ale (don't gulp)
10-May-2002
Hey, Asshole! What the HELL was that last Burrrshit....Tommie..
No,,,you couldn't leave your 'maiden' entry alone.
You had to add that last crap in the bowl, didn't you?
And, you were doing so great with the Night Cream Ale...remember, just finish strong.. NOT like you did last night..and
definitely NOT like you did at the last Crabbage..
Butt, don't take this personal, we can take all the left over yeast and froth from the brew batch and bottle it with your
own moniker..Butt Cream Ale...TH..
10-May-2002
Dong Lickers Lite....DongonTongue Blond...Brandts Backend Bock...Penis'n'anus - a true Black and Tan...Thibly's cum
dripping from Seymore's sore, scab covered ass after Hackett's already been there twice and left him bleeding Ale.
10-May-2002
As usual, Marshall has left the Field behind; staggering, bewildered, unable to fully comprehend the magnitude of the
genious at play, nor his intimacy with the subject at hand. The ol' gummer. Sorry, Tommie, it had to cum out sometime..
(bottle?).. jest go quietly to the corner and beat off a while. An' in the mornin', we'll all love ya boy.
Cookie
11-May-2002
That's not froth it's the results of your latest head bobbing exercise!!!!
Calm down Bambi......
12-May-2002
Hoo boy, Enron did rape y'all, the truth is cumming out now. That'll teach ya to mess with the free market - get a bunch
of fucking legislators together who don't know dick about markets, slap together a bunch of arbitrary rules, and I'll find
a way ta bang ya, papa. And of course, since I don't work for those fuckers, it ain't me babe (though perhaps if we'd
have thought of it first...).
What the fuck, I'll cash in a few thousand shares of Enron stock and buy one of you a beer at PacBell.
You think you got it bad. Wait til the Hawaiians try to buy gasoline two years from now.
13-May-2002
Seymour,
You know, other men who had been marooned by the British Navy alone on a guano-encrusted island off the Falklands since
1982 would show more signs of wear and stress.
But the ordeal hasn't changed you a bit! Sure, you've grown quite fond of penguins (I thought they were all cute, but I
guess you've come to be more discriminating). And, you get that nervous tic whenever anyone mentions Argentina.
But overall nothing could smother that warm and magnanimous camaraderie of yours. And you are always filled with a gay
joie de vivre.
If you can get yourself back to the Snatch, we'll see to it that Marshall gives you a blow job.
Least we can do.
Mudshark.
13-May-2002
You know, Shark, the problem with the blimey Britt is that the trip o'er in the SSNatch is a bit much to bear. I mean, 'es
becum intimately familiar with the salted pork amidships an' none too keen on leavin' anytime soon. May his compass always
bear true north an' his socks keep 'es pocket change warm. Aye...a good stiff eye is what 'e needs...an' I'm jest the one
ta gives it to 'im. We'll have 'im soon forgettin the ol' pork.
HeeHaw...Flamin' Britt's and Bangers delight..the Crabbage nears!!
13-May-2002
Girls, here's the list. Pick your top 3 by number.
1) Prairie Dog Ale (Gardiser)
2) Hammer-Head Cock-Suckers Ale(Bambi)
3) God bless you(Cabin Boy)
4) Brown Nugget Bitter, Queen's Transom "Climb aboard"(Cap'n Mud)
5) Pyle's Pilsner "Crack one open"(Cap'n Mud)
6) Totar Beer-do(Evan)
7) Blandt Kan Suk Mi "A stiff one with a big creamy head" (Kelig)
8) Dong Lickers Lite(Malsharr)
9) DongonTongue Blond(Malsharr)
10) Brandt's Backend Bock(Malsharr)
11) Penis'n'anus - a true Black and Tan(Malsharr)
12) Thibly's cum dripping from Seymore's sore, scab covered ass after Hackett's already been there twice and left him
bleeding Ale (Malsharr)
13) M & E Field of Dreams, Night Cream Ale (don't gulp) "Release yourself from the frustrations of your day" (Tommy)
14) BAARFBREW since we all know Kelig sucks and never swallows!!!!(Fucking Seymour)
15) TARTBREW" (Seymour)
16) Headless Brown Stout"(Snoid)
17) Snoid's Famous Streak (Snoid)
18) Asswipe that works for some fuckin energy company that raped California's budget surplus thereby taking my API bonus
money, which would've been huge because our school kicked ass on the standardized tests last year, to pay for some goddamn
energy suit's villa in Aruba-oh and, by the way, he's a totar dodir Ale (Blandt)
19) Anklegrabber Ale (Blandt)
20) Houston Hork (Blandt)
21) Conoco Cocksucker (Blandt)
15-May-2002
#13.
Three reasons:
1 - It doesn't suck much worse than any of the others.
2 - It's Tommy's first at-bat, and we want to "get him on base" before the thickest wad of the batting order cums up.
3 - It rolls off the tongue a better than "Thibly's cum dripping from Seymore's sore, scab covered ass after Hackett's
already been there twice and left him bleeding Ale", although not by much.
Cap'n Slapp'n
15-May-2002
This hard butt #4, #7 & #21.
15-May-2002
1. Hammer-head Cocksuckers Ale, the all encompassing brew
2. Brandt's Backend Bock, A Cloverdale favorite, everyone's had it!
15-May-2002
Dave,
Here's my pick, but first of all, fuck that asswipe who works for that energy company in Texas too since I didn't get my
bonus or raises either (Sorry Phil). Therefore, I choose number 18. I know it's a long name, but maybe you can shorten it.
How about Texas Buttfuckers.
BC
15-May-2002
Actually, Paul, there is some crabbage banter to support that Tommy has already been to first, second, third, and some say
even home on more than one occasion. Butt, a first showing is a good sign, even if a bit limp and bloody at the stock.
Good work, Tommie! (And, foock that bitch Seymore you rode in on, too).
My top pick goes to the veteran warhorse that she is (Malshall) - # 8 - why? Tastes great AND less filling!
Bambi
15-May-2002
OK...what part of TOP 3 don't you get? That would be 3 choices. Like Sarkisian can choose his top 3 favorite cabin
activities: 1) Lay a hulking cable 2) Have Bambi pound it back in with his fist and 3) Lay a huge fuckin cable again.
See? 3 choices. Or there is Hackett's top 3 groups: 1) Indigo Girls, 2) Winona, 3)Bjork.
Why is it that Vought is the only one that can count to three? Oh, yeah, there is that 3 inch dick he flops (is that
really the right word?) when he pees.
15-May-2002
OK,,,OK,, Then I'll have to add these write-in's:
#22) "Scrotum's Nest - Pale Ale"
and
#23) "Amber's Fist" (in honor of said documentary wherewith excluded).
BenHard (please)
17-May-2002
I go for 8 (nice cock ring to it), 10 (nice "everyone's had it" add by M. Parshall), and of course my personal favorite and
fondest hope, 7.
18 is DQ'ed since I'm sure your school did what the Texass schools did - quietly lowered the pass mark. Isn't number 3
supposed to be "All the best!" or some such gay shit? All the others deserve their day, though I must admit I find #17
oddly disturbing.
17-May-2002
Hey buddy (and I say that in the fondest sense of the word),
Do you want a piece of this (#17)? It's easy to do, I could show you how. Kind of an Arts and Crafts kind of thing...
The Snoid (said to the tune of 'Da Bears')
17-May-2002
Sorry guys about the misprint - Texas Buttfinger - is the right spelling and the pronunciation is up to you. Someone do
Phirr a favol and purr his fist out of his ass. There ain't no fishing permitted up there anyway. And, what the hell where
you thinking of for bait? A lemon cookie? Never mind...
Mud Sharks are territorial, butt, you already knew that...
17-May-2002
Sometimes, the simplest body plans are the best. You can get a pretty tenacious grip just from some suckers and hooks.
Let the nutrients come to you, I say.
You want kids? Just burst one of your gravid segments, releasing a couple of hundred thousand eggs. Get them out into the
water supply, and forget about it. Have someone else's intestines raise 'em for you.
You think I'm a public health menace? Fuck that. Look at Brant! If it was me up Marshall's ass, he'd be able to carry on
for months. Maybe years. Worst thing would happen, he'd lose a little weight.
I don't even have a fist.
I'm sorry, I got off the subject. We were talking about names for beer.....
MS
27-May-2002
here be da results, ladies.............
Da winner be...........
Hamerhead Cocksucker Ale
I think you bitches be ever so on the mark...let's think... Kelig be Hammerhead...Kelig be cocksucker. The only thing you
didn't say was Houston Homo Ale. Thankya... thankya...thankya...Now get ya sorry asses ready fo da Snatch!
Halbach...Report, ya BMW ridin' gayboy...Schnack...Report!, ya lanky piece o' gay splooge...Sarkisian...put yer tongue up
some other place than Bambi's ass!! Seymour...oh ya queen, ya think Polk Street can't find ya there in NY??? Gardiser you
be suchapoofda, Vought...Evan loves ya...OUCH!! Malsharr...canyasuckoffsomorebankerwanker (there's a beer name "Marshall's
Banker Wanker Ale)??? Chance...oh, fuck off! Hackett...can you be more thweet? Thibley...get that fuckin' cock outa
yermouth...Snoid, can ya suck more? Yeah I saved yer ass once inda shower...heluva sangria bash!!!! Bobby, why the fuck
has this porf been spared???? Can ya start spankin 'im???? Clip his ass ya fuxx.
Yeah I mighta' missed mentionin' (for example who the fuck cares about Lodwig???) ya bitch butt I promise I be ready to
welcome ya ta da Snatch and ya bloody well better be ready to get ya invite in ya box!!!!!
Oh I be moist!!!!!
Blandt
30-Aug-2005
STRANGE BEHAVIOR LINKED TO BIZARRE CULT
Houston, TX (Wanker News Service)--
A Houston oil executive's strange behavior revealed a bizarre cult and snarled traffic in downtown Houston for hours on Monday afternoon.
A man being referred to as "Dodir" stood upon the ledge of the fourth floor of an office building with his trousers at his ankles. Sporting at best what
could be called "a little wood", he flogged upon the pink member for some ninety minutes to attract a crowd. Watchers below could hear him saying "fly
away Peter, fly away Paul" and "I'm on the finger-tip ledge of contentment".
In addition to the usual macabre part of humanity drawn to such an event, even scarier was a group of brown stained, uniformed men who arrived in formation
and marched through the throng to take up a position immediately below Dodir. Ostensibly led by a Captain Paul "Dirty Sanchez" Mudd, the men began
shouting encouragement to Dodir. Identified by a sloppy, thin mustache emitting the odor of, well, shit, Captain Dirty Sanchez loudly proclaimed the name
of his following "The White Ducks". When questioned further, he named what he called (and spelled, for emphasis) his "cumpatriots" as Kirk "Gak" Schnack,
Rich "Bambi" Benner, Kent "Snoid" Emmons and Tom "Tartarsauce" Gardiser. When pressed regarding the purpose of their organization Captain Diry Sanchez
replied "The Final Solution of the White Ducks is the permanent eradication and extermination of homosexuals and their deviant behavior. Their zero to
our power of one equals nothing at all."
Obviously, the eery similarity between the White Ducks and the German SS of World War II is inescapable. Publicly castigate the impure, incarcerate them,
and then while helpless secretly subject them to the very activities for which they are condemned. The Germanic surnames of the brown stains was not lost
on this reporter. The idea for the cult was formulated, according to Captain Dirty Sanchez, on a hot night in Budapest.
The four aligned themselves below Dodir and chanted "you can goo, you can goo, you can"! Grabbing his balls, Dodir replied "I don't know, I'm rather
bloddy and I can hardly roll my stones." "But I painted my shoes up with polish just for this" retorted Gak. To which Dodir responded, "Alright, I'll
see if I can jack on the green".
Looking below, the four immediately took up a postion on a small patch of lawn nearby. Moments later, Dodir showered them below. They jockeyed for
postion among themselves, trying to catch the flying wads like little boys taking popcorn and popping them in their holes. Bambi easily out muscled the
others, and after gathering in a number in succession shouted "Three flies up!" Dejected, Tatarsauce muttered "Oh well, it was a new day yesterday, but
it's an old day now." Snoid reacted angrily by saying "I thought there was a reason for waiting", to which Gak responded "hey, nothing is easy."
Meanwhile, Captain Dirty Sanchez said nothing while flies at his nostils plundered. Just then another shot landed in Gak's eye, sending him to the
emergency room. He was treated and released and would not be blinded, and was instructed by his doctors to keep an open eye. As he left the hospital he
was heard to say, "Well, one our of three ain't bad."
Upon learning of the disturbance, President Bush immediately summoned his chauffer and ordered him to drive from Crawford to Houston. Plowing under
numerous small, symbolic white crosses along the way, the President arrived and forged his way to the front of the throng. He shouted up to Dodir "How
about a little chin music for the Commander in Chief?" Dodir shouted back "I can't, I just played that song from my wood." The President replied "you
can't be stopped by so small a problem" as Dodir put his hair back in his pouch.
Frustrated, the President ordered his chauffer, "Aw, forget it, let's go down to the park and watch the frilly panties run".
Eventually, Dodir was coaxed down from the ledge. When asked why he threatened his life in such fashion he said that he was despondent over learning of
a conspiracy. A conspiracy to rig the teams at an upcoming golf tournament, a rigging which would put him in a foursome with someone named Dave
Brandt.
Inquiries revealed that Dodir was known among co-workers as Phir Kelig. Another Germanic name. Further investigations, however, exposed that his true
identity is Phillipe du Guano, a French mercenary who took the money, dropped his gun and then went AWOL in the conflict in the Ivory Coast. When
confronted as to his true identity and history he responded flatly, "Just living in the past".
3-Nov-2005
MYSTERIOUS AILMENT THREATENS LIVESTOCK INDUSTRY
(UKI)
Salinas, CA - Large animal veterinarian and volunteer librarian, Robert Eggleston, V.D., reported to health authorities a splurge of troubling cases
showing up in a wide variety of domestic animals that he has treated recently.
Theorized to be related to Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis (also known as Mad Cow Disease) the disorder apparently affects the anus of afflicted animals.
It is characterized by swelling and tearing of the rectal tissues, as well as the presence of sticky white exudiea dripping down the hind legs. Dr.
Eggleston reports that he first became aware of the disorder, when he noticed that so many of the animals he was treating for other problems became
agitated whenever he approached them from the rear with a rectal thermometer or gloved hands.
The disease is caused by the virus, Colonoriptus bambii. So far, the disease has been found in cattle, swine, horses, dogs, cats, chickens, waterfowl
and lop-eared rabbits.
Over the vocal protestations of local ranchers, the Center for Disease Control (CDC), has clamped down on the transport of live animals and animal
products from any Central California agricultural counties. Periodic outbreaks of this in previous years had been confined to communities along Highway
4 in Calaveras County, and only in early October.
Spokesman for the American Cattleman's Association, Kirk "Rip" Schnack, said, "Hell, two thirds of my herd gots swoled up butts, 'n stuff a drippin' down
they legs. Why don't y'all just eat me!"
The CDC also set up inspection stations on roadways leaving the city and county of San Francisco, fearing that this outbreak is related to the the
appearance of the virus that causes Stinky Gerbil Syndrome in that city. That disease, also known as SGS, recently caused the incapacitation of local
photographer and activist Thcott "C.B." Thibley last month. Although he will find it painful to bend over for a few months, Thibley is reportedly in
good spirits.
3-Aug-2006
Was that a haiku Bambus Dicksamus....perhaps thou wantus to speakith inth the tongue of the greatest of all tongues, Romanus Shibleysuckthus,or maybe it's
just the tongue of Cabin Boyus Erectus you favor. Be careful for Fuckus Keligus has squired the young boy and maketh him to stroke his schlonguth.
Sarkasis Fullassiss has also been known to ply the hapless cabin knave with grogus semenis and tales of the Turd Wars in exchange for coloncleanus. Ah,
but what of Knaveness Ragus and his Brundtus Bentoverus...hath they been sighted anywhere but in the buttus of Castrothus Hackettus, oh how the legions
miss them, so softanus and creamius....
4-Aug-2006
Marshallus Tictus Erectus
Praise be humpethed upon thee. Thou hath spaketh with the widsom of the sages, yea, even though thou art the simplest of fools.
For we shalt all have our way unto the bowels of Tototorus Dodirrius, that we might begat a nation of angry brown fishes.
Yea, for our loins hungereth for that upon which we canst not layeth even our own eyes.
And truly art Rhaggus Chingaderae the concubine of Brundtus, and a harlot for many men.
Lo, and behold, for mine old email worketh again. And I shalt useth not mine Yahoo to bantereth unto thee. For even Romanus Thibleysuckthus hath fallen
unto his knees, and hath taken mine Yahoo unto his mouth, yea, like a suckling shoat upon the sow.
Bitchus Sarkisianus
5-Aug-2006
Bitchus Sarkianus,
Marshallus Negitphallus speaketh well- surprising seeing thust his mouth be laden most frequently with issues from many of the Snatchtarian Guard.
Castrothus Hackettus hath indeed bettered our most hallowed Temple of the Crab but such will be lost as he defiles it anon with thine presence- verily as
he hath earlier defiled our sacred trophy.
Voghtus Comb-Overus shall soon lead his legion with help from Fuckus Keligus and secure yon Temple with sodomonial rituals as was taught by Harrus
Cansukkus.
I bid you Pini Orallus,
Brundtus Bentoverus
6-Aug-2006
Brundtus,
I assume we are to read your closing in the Europa manner, and that your name is really Bentoverus Brundtus.
The Gristening Roin Legions
7-Aug-2006
Tototorus Dodirrius,
Leave not the counsels of Bitchus Sarkisianus and Marshallus Tictus Erectus to lay waste like the sediments of Atlantis, or the buttressed pearls Siezerus
Bobbio. Emblazon upon the rocks of the Snatchotorium their words. Findeth a link that is more than the meagerest linguica that tickles the back of your
throat.
Schwahkeeeeeeng!
Rhaggus Chingaderae,
No, no . . . that's Whaggus Chwingahdeyway
8-Aug-2006
Rhaggus Chingaderae
Head of Gristening Roin Legions,
Praise to Jupiter and Uranus as you return from glorious campaign at Meadowmont. Be of no doubt -the countless white orbs thou hast left behind on
trips prior kept the path well markedth. Our massive campaign is underway and all have been served thine marching orders- save one...Psychois
Diklippus.
Chokus Onmycummus,
Bruntus
9-Aug-2006
Ah, but what of Fiskcumulus Fingerlickus, the keeper of equus, breeder emeritus, slatherer of the long schlong, guyus that stickus the equine prickus in
the smelly mares vaginus...word has it that he and his stablemate Sheepus Donttalkus have embarked on a mission to Havatugonthis in search of Sarkassis
Fullassis and Fuckus Keligus in hopes of solving the mystery surrounding why the horses at Breakwindus Farms are suffering from coitus nothappeningnus.
After many stops along the way for Fiskcumulus to "relieveus his selfus", in the softanus and creamius Sheepus, he approached the palace of Fullassis to
seek answers to his delimnanus. "Hark, I cometh spent of my zenith to beg your Fullassis indulge me in song and then helputh me prontous, that is, when
you have finished Fuckus Keligus, Receiver Mostus of Semenus"......
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